House rules
We try to keep the rules to a minimum, but there are a few:
- Number one, and by far the most important; you must be romantic as fuck. We didn't build this for some hohum Netflix and Chill in the trees. We want you to show up with someone you're excited about. We don't care if you've been married for 30 years, or if you just picked them up off the street (or Feeld), as long as you can't stop thinking about boning their absolute brains out for an entire night.
- That said, while we absolute encourage the most vigorous of love making -- don't go all Cirque de Soleil on the tree platform. If you bounce near the furthest cantilevered edge, you'll feel the tree house shake. Don't worry. Go up to Pipeline Bridge and jump in the middle, you'll feel the entire bridge shake too. Structures are meant to have some give to them. It's how they survive the wind. Nevertheless, do your most enthustiastic thrusting closer to the tree, where the tree house enjoys the most rigidity relative to the trees. Are you scared now?
- Don't play the music too loud. Even though the noise from the waterfall and creek dampens the noise a fair amount, the bass seems to travel. If I can hear a soft thumb thumb or wub wub at the house, I'll send you a message asking you to turn it down just a smidge. We don't want to risk any neighbours wondering why there's constant music late at night.
- Bring your own prophylactics, lube, and sex toys. There's extra 110 volt outlets for your wall powered magic wands, in case you need the RPMs.
- While not a requirement, if you can take the bed sheets down and throw them in my laundry bin the next day, that'd be much appreciated. I can give them a wash and make the bed for the next guests.